30 lessons and more from my 30 years

It was my 30th birthday yesterday and for some reason I cannot explain I feel different. It’s not easy to clock 30 really. I do realise how blessed I am to reach this milestone in life and to be all that I am today.

Let me use this medium to once again extend my thanks to all who made my day special in some kind of way. Thank you so much.

Here are a few things I thought to share on what I have learnt in the last 3 decades. Be blessed.

1. God is the truest of everything. Father, friend, saviour, helper, name it! Nothing is as true as God.

2. Life without a personal relationship with God is meaningless, empty and senseless.

3. Wisdom is central to a happy life. If you want to be happy start by looking for wisdom rather than happiness. After you find wisdom you will find happiness.

4. Things are as they are regardless of my opinions or anyone else’s opinions.

5. Most of life’s lessons are not taught by anyone. They are learned from personal experience. Maintaining a good attitude is necessary for learning.

6. Pain is necessary for growth. And pain is sometimes the result of our choices.

7. Regret is an absolute waste of time.

8. Everything happens for a reason.

9. There is a time and season for everything. It’s no use living in the past or in the future and missing out on the present. Live every moment.

10. Each situation is to be treated with its own set of facts no matter how similar it may be to a past situation.

11. Maturity is not defined by age but by experiences and choices and what lessons one learns from each experience.

12. There are things you cannot do anything about. Accept this and live in peace.

13. There is no unit like family. Family loves you and looks out for you yet judges you at the same time. You cannot change this.

14. Family may intend to always be there for you but may not be able to. Love them anyway.

15. A man’s wisdom is assessed by his family members depending on the type of woman he intends to marry or marries.

16. Women are particular about personal and financial security. They do not thrive in lack of either or both. They were created this way. They are not to be judged for it.

17. The woman is smarter than the man and is particularly equipped to bring out the best planted deep within the man. Man needs woman and woman needs man. Both are a team. No one is superior.

18. All human beings are one together with the entire universe. The best results in life are attained through unity. Where there is togetherness there is far much more prosperity. Look out for the progress of others.

19. Selfishness is a major cause of human problems.

20. Things that happen are hardly ever about you and me. We should get over ourselves more and more.

21. Peace is everything. Personal peace, communal peace, national peace, etc. Without peace we have nothing.

22. Personal peace comes at a cost. We may look stupid to most people, but the most peaceful people do or bear whatever they have to to keep their peace.

23. Things will not always go my way. This is a fact I have to live with. Accept it, embrace it, enjoy life regardless. Life is not about me.

24. Changes will take place in my mind, spirit and body. Some I may not like, and some I may like. Accept this fact and live with it in peace.

25. People will look up to me whether I choose it or not, whether I want them to or not. It is how it is. I owe it to myself and to those around me to do right. Most of all I owe it to God who puts me in this exalted position.

26. My contribution to the betterment of mankind matters a lot no matter how seemingly little my contribution. If I do not contribute my little someone somewhere somehow will suffer for my omission.

27. People will say things about me, good and bad things. What I know and believe about myself is what matters most.

28. I peg my own value. How I present myself is how I am taken by others. If I do not peg my value people will do so for me and I will then surely be undervalued.

29. Society is a big lie. The mindset of society is sick. Society needs help yet it appears strong and appears to decide what you and me should do. Dare to dump societal values and trends and seek truth. God is truth, not society.

30. Everyone cannot excel at the same type of test. We are all gifted differently and should each be tested according to our unique strengths.

31. No one has it all together. We all have individual strengths and weaknesses. We complement each other. This is divine design.

32. As we progress in life we will seemingly have less and less time.

33. Balance is everything to success. Life is made up of several pieces which only make sense put together. Family, health, play, work, money, rest, holiday, sleep, worship, service, are all to be put together for a full life. An excess of one or two isn’t happiness. True happiness is found in balance.

34. God is real and He cares about you and me more than He cares about anything.

35. There is no service to God outside of service to mankind. To serve God you must serve man for His sake.

36. Human beings are like sheep: stupid. Love your neighbour regardless and when he/she fails you forgive them. They are human. Humans fail. God forgives you yet you fail.

37. Forgiveness is cheap. It may seem more expensive than bitterness but ultimately it is much cheaper.

38. The smallest action beats the greatest intention.

39. Timing is everything. Timing and wisdom are sisters with interlocked arms.

40. Time waits for no man. Do what you have to when you have to.

41. Depression is real even to an African. Mental, emotional, psychological, spiritual and physiological health all exist. We Africans tend to focus on the physiological and disregard people who complain of sickness in the other areas as being “weak”.

42. Time spent learning anything is never wasted.

43. Crying is very ok. So is soliloquy. I am not “weak” or ‘not cool” or “womanly” as a man because I cry or speak to myself. Crying is a form of expression. Soliloquy is a reinforcer of dreams and visions.

44. Everyone is different in his own way. Your opinion is not law and ultimately it doesn’t even matter in the scheme of things. Accept this and retain your unsolicited opinion. Take no offence if I do not heed your advice.

45. Whatever is planted is harvested. If you plant honour you will harvest honour. If you plant dishonour you will harvest dishonour.

46. The lessons my parents taught me were very necessary. The things they said to me were true. I will teach them to my children.

47. A father’s words and actions live with his sons through life. I remember today things my father spoke to me as a little boy. I will speak to my sons likewise.

48. Life is great. In everything that happens there is always still some room for thanksgiving.

49. It is never too late to accomplish a dream. Where there is a will there is a way.

50. I am complex and may never fully understand myself. I am to accept this peacefully.

51. Pride is foolishness on display. None of us has any reason whatsoever to be proud. All we have and are were given to us by someone who has it all yet He is not proud. He alone has every right to be proud.

52. Ignorance is a deadly disease. It is to be feared above poverty.

53. What happens in a man’s life first happens in his mind. The mind is powerful beyond description.

54. Everyday is a blank gift. I am to fill my day with what I prefer. Where I am not able to because of busyness, I am to be thankful still.

55. My happiness is solely my responsibility. I am to look to no other for this.

56. All wealth of everything resides in God. His greatness and versatility are beyond any description we can ever attempt.

Love,

Maxx’

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